Tuesday, May 27, 2008

If Osama bin Laden were a Chaser...

In this article, I learn that Osama bin Laden started an a cappella group at one point in his life.

I can confirm it wasn't the Kenyon College Chasers, where many of my college energies went. At least not then...maybe he was in it earlier. (I suspect he'd have preferred the all-male Kenyon, which predates my college days.)

Maybe, as a gesture of goodwill, Chasers needs to invite him over as a guest member of the group. I mean, we sang at Oberlin a few times, and if we can sink that low, surely we can invite a terrorist into the group.

I'd be happy to arrange a Beatles song for him, just like I did more than once back in the day, and give him the solo. We'd sing behind him and he'd belt it out to a screaming contingent of Lords and Ladies.

But which song is best for Osama? "Back in the USSR"? "Happiness is a Warm Gun"? One of George's misguided sitar tunes? Or John's "I'm a Loser"?

Nah. I wouldn't be mean. Many of my most lasting friendships ('Sup, Alison! Hey, MCMC!) are founded in Chaserdom. If bin Laden had been a Chaser, I'd probably be emailing him, arguing about politics, commenting on his blog, and maybe visiting his cave. If only he'd gotten into Kenyon...maybe our friendship would have prevented the whole jihad.

Hey...can somebody photoshop bin Laden's head into a Chaser photo, past or present? I'd love to see what it'd look like.

3 comments:

Alison said...

I am trying to decide which seems less plausible - Osama bin Laden in formation ("dick to hip, everyone!") or Osama bin Laden singing "Little Brown Jug" in a hardware store at Christmas.

MCMC said...

I could swear he's on the cover of "15 People Enjoyed Having You". It's just so hard to tell, though. It's like trying to make out all the people on the Sgt. Peppers album cover.

I personally think he'd be drawn to the bawdy madrigals and the Madonna tunes.

MCMC

Paula said...

So let me get this straight...you admit that your failure to reach out to poor Osama led to 9/11. I wondered upon whom we could finally pin the blame.