Monday, August 20, 2007

Death and Dismemberment

Maybe I'm just stressed into a sick sense of humor...starting a new job while not yet in the new home because you can't sell the old condo which the realtor suggests may be overpriced does things to the mind.

But as my bride and I talked over benefits with the new job today, I simply found the list of "type of loss" associated with Death and Dismemberment insurance to be hilarious. I partially duplicate the list below.


Both Hands or Both Feet--100%
One Hand and One Foot--100%
Sight of Both Eyes--100%
Speech and Hearing--100%
Either One Hand or One Foot and Sight of One Eye--100%
Speech or Hearing--50%
Sight of One Eye--50%
Either One Hand or One Foot--50%
Thumb and Index Finger of the Same Hand--25%

Why do I find this so funny? Bride did too. Most of it was trying to imagine a bizarre accident that would take both one foot and the sight of one eye. Would a hand, foot, one eye, and hearing produce a 250%? And why was I having such fun imagining scenarios where one would injure a foot and an eye in the same event?

I also like that it's so carefully called "Accidental Death and Dismemberment Insurance." Note that it's "and" and not "or." If I were BOTH dead and lost one hand and one foot, my bride would not get 200%.

Quoth the bride: "There goes my plan to have the mortician cut off your extremities."


Venzmama said...

My husband's excuse for being addicted to his blackberry is that he gets double-indemnity on his life insurance if killed while conducting business. I'm not buying that excuse quite yet! :-)

Paula Reed said...

I, too find things like this too funny. A little black humor, I suppose...