Tuesday, February 01, 2005

I'm a Super Bowl Freak! A Super Bowl Freak! I'm Super-Bowl-Freakaaaay...

I used to have the scores of all of the Super Bowls memorized. I've slipped a little bit in recent years. ESPN's "Grading The Super Bowls" article (very funny...recommended) lists them all, and I tested myself. I had the first 32 of them memorized, but dammit, I was just a hair off on the final scores of 4 of the last 6. (Yes, this actually bothers me.) So I'll work on getting those cold. In eleven years, after Super Bowl L, I'll want all of them to be in my memorized mind.

The article asks some questions and lists some commentary. For instance:

ESPN: "Who was the MVP of Super Bowl V?"

TRP: Chuck Howley, Dallas. He remains the only player from a losing team named MVP.

ESPN: "If you can answer this off the top of your head, by the way, you might need to take a little time away from the game, maybe take a walk in the park with your kids, share a root beer float down at the soda fountain with your best girl, that kind of thing."

TRP: Okay. Sounds fun. The kids will have to wait.

Later in the same article, Eric Neel, the author, asks these about Super Bowl XXVI:

"OK, three questions: 1. Who played in this game? 2. Who won and by what score? 3. How do you spell the last name of the game MVP?"

TRP: Easy. I watched this in the lounge of my senior year dorm, leaving two minutes early to go to a singing rehearsal. Washington 37, Buffalo 24. Fairly dull. Art Monk has a touchdown called back by replay. Buffalo scores some meaningless TDs late to make it look closer. Mark Rypien is MVP...R-Y-P-I-E-N.

Neel continues: "If you're not from either team's home city, [note I am not] and you can answer the first question without looking it up, your family and friends are likely planning an intervention (everybody in a circle with their hands clasped, an Indian raga playing in the background, maybe some incense) on your behalf. "

TRP: Huh. Are you?

Neel: "If you can answer the second question without looking it up, your family and friends talk about you in the past tense, sharing stories with each other about what a cute little boy you once were, how bright and full of promise, and they tear up when they look at you now, whispering, 'May he rest in peace.'"

TRP: I never knew...

Neel: "If you can answer the third question cold ... you don't have any family or friends."

TRP: Now come on! Just because I'm a big Super Bowl fan who's a good speller!

Okay. So if you've made it this far, you'll be interested in this: New England 34, Philadelphia 16. I don't expect it to be close. New England has no weaknesses I have seen--none whatever. Philly has a few...receivers and pass defense. It'll be another dull game...which, alas, is another tough score to memorize.


Swankette said...

ESPN will be saddened to know that TRP's freakish knowledge of sports statistics and facts is one of the things I find unexplainably endearing about him.

Now the fact that he and a friend, back in Junior High School, would "Draft" the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Models every year... that I find a little odd. (But was not at all surprised when I learned of their old hobby).

Anonymous said...

Now that's a draft I can get excited about!


(I was going to say "get behind", but that's just too crude, right?)

TeacherRefPoet said...


It's not too late. The Swimsuit Issue comes out in just a couple of weeks. Pick up a copy and we'll draft away. I've had my eye on Ana Beatriz Barros.

Or, we could to a -classic- draft of our favorite swimsuiters from the 1980s. I get Kelly Emberg, you get Kim Alexis. I get Paulina Porizkova, you get Carol Alt...

While we do this, our wife/bride-to-be can roll their eyes and cure cancer or something.

Shannin said...

I love Super Bowls! I've been to 3, but actually prefer viewing from a private home with friends (and beers that cost less that $7.50). Should be a good one this year, although I think Philly will surprise all the pundits and win, 27-24.

Joe said...

Actually, "excited" is pretty crude too, Spoon. Which is not to say I oppose the idea.

And I'm sure Spoon and I stand together in thinking there's nothing wrong with a detailed knowledge of a Washington Super Bowl victory. All those other ones, well, that's a little obsessive...

Swankette said...

Now I'm sorry I mentioned the swimsuit issue draft, if only because all the members of my fantasy baseball league are now talking about doing a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model draft. The House of Swank will not go there.

Joe said...

We've always played a mixed league, Swankette. You can draft from an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog or something...