Thursday, January 13, 2005

Tonight's game...

It looked for a while that I would be doing varsity ball this season, but because of a rule so arcane that nobody noticed it was being broken, four officials, including me, were left doing JV ball. I was angry about it for a while, and now I'm not anymore. So I'm doing a year of JV games, and being evaluated by varsity officials in hopes that my scores will be good enough to go up to varsity ball next year.

As of now, I'm confident that they will be. I had a good game. Very easy game...two teams in zone defenses with offenses who don't take it to the hoop. Net result: no contact. We called only 15 fouls the whole game. Plus, after the score was 32-4 at half, the team in the lead really backed off and started passing the ball around. The second half was very, very fast. My partner was an earnest (but not in the bad way!) HS sophomore who impressed me with his poise and willingness to learn rather than to look cool or show off his knowledge. He'll go far.

Then the time came for me to get my evaluation. The first varsity official handed me a sheet and said "I'm giving you the highest score. I mean, I was looking as hard as I could, and I couldn't see a single thing you did wrong. I'd only say you should use your voice more." This is a compliment to me, as I try not to use my voice much on the court (vocal cord injury). Plus I had a cold. The second official said "I feel very bizarre evaluating you." I think it's because I deflowered her as an official...I was her partner for her very first game, a sixth-grade girls' tournament game over Thanksgiving of 2000. Now she's a varsity official, but still looks up to me. She just handed me my evaluation, which contained no negative comments save one: "Use voice more."

Cool. I guess I'm perfect.

But you know what? I'm actually a little disappointed. I mean, my partner and I had a great game, an easy game, but I was lulled into sleep, I'm afraid, because with about 3 minutes left, I made an egregious rookie mistake. I gave a time out to white when blue had the ball. You just don't do that. Blue was walking the ball up the court, white coach saw one of his players crying (still don't know why), and shouted time out. I blew my whistle and instantly realized my mistake. The rule is that once you blow the whistle, you have to eat crow and award the time out. I, however, compounded the error by saying "Inadvertent whistle. Blue ball." Meanwhile, my partner was trying to do something brilliant...the blue coach was rightly complaining, and my partner said "My time! Official's time out for the injury." Awesome! It would have been better had he blown his whistle, but for a 15-year-old kid to have that kind of game awareness and the willingness to save his partner from a weird situation...loved it.

But I made a terrible mistake, and I know varsity official #1 was there to see it. He must have simply finished his evaluation by then. Oh well...I'll have to bite my tongue and settle for a perfect score in an imperfect game.


Anonymous said...

"I think it's because I deflowered her as an official..."

This gets my vote for the funniest sentence I've read in a blog in the month of January. I just hope that the Swank Girl understands...


Swankette said...

I've never been deflowered as an official.